Friday 31 January 2014

The Donkey You Know Is Better Than The S**** You Don't Know - Masaibu ya "W"akili Timamu


Hello world. I'm eating some donkey as I type this...but hold your horses and let me explain.

I never buy beef (read "donkey meat") in Rongai. Never Ever! I mainly do mutton simply because my taste buds are a wee bit less susceptible to trickery when it comes to that.

Njaanuary is almost officially over. So I thought I should treat myself to some meat today since the fat lady is about to sing anytime now effectively flipping my poverty hourglass as is the monthly norm.

Unfortunately, all my "trusted" butcheries had ran out of mutton. It seems like a lot of people have already been paid unlike some of us. Due to budget constraints, I opted not to buy chicken which is the obvious alternative and opted to experiment with Sossi, a product which can only best be described through a quick google search. After-all, the adverts clearly state that it's not donkey meat but it tastes like real meat (ignore that donkey part). If you don't know what Sossi is at this point, just GO AWAY! .... Okay. On second thought, just maybe google "Sossi" and check out the images.

Moving on, HOW I WISH I KNEW! That shit doesn't taste anything like meat. I've been told that adverts are usually exaggerated a little but when it come to this one, PATHOLOGICAL lies have been poured! It can't get worse than that.

I swear nimetupa sahani kwa dustbin, nikaenda moja kwa moja mpaka kwa butchery, nikakopa punda nusu kilo PAP! Saa hii nakulia kapunda kangu kwa sufuria moss moss bila wasiwasi na kusema ukweli, NI HERI PUNDA KULIKO SOSSI!